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Totally Terrifying Toys 3: Banned & Recalled

Updated: Aug 6, 2020

The world needed this 3rd installment of the Trilogy, so here it is. Totally Terrifying Toys Three, Banned & Recalled!!! First, there was… Totally Terrifying Toys – Dangerous or Ridiculous….the international sensation….next, the non-legendary and completely mediocre sequel…Totally Terrifying Toys Two, Creepy & Coming to Get You and just like Jaws 3 in 3D….I had to capitalize off your hunger for Awful Toy Fun….so here it is !

#10 Snacktime Cabbage Patch Kid

This little monster took the classic Cabbage Patch Kid and added “real chewing action” and they were not kidding. After several children fed Chuckey’s 3rd Cousin twice removed their fingers and clumps of hair, Mattel Banned them. No one saw this coming.

#9 Belt Buckle Derringer Toy Cap Gun

In 1959 the Caps used in cap guns were a little more serious…this toy gun was designed to fire when the child pushed his stomach forward or stuck out his gut or her gut….great fun I am sure, but….they actual could catch fire at just above your crotch. Definitely making it more fun to be an observer.

#8 Candy Cigarettes

Guaranteed to make you cool. I remember these….They used to be everywhere when I was kid, but eventually the concern of this candy encouraging children to take up smoking took hold…they have all but disappeared… Plus vaping is so much cooler.…but if you do want your candy cig fix, they are still legally sold at novelty shops, just in case you’re a looking for that special gift…..

#7 Aqua Dots

Take beads, make colorful shapes and designs, spritz with water to fuse your creation. Awesome…but don’t eat the beads…. made with GHB, the date rape drug, a few children slipped into comas and the product was recalled.

I mean seriously…. how does this happen. Good lord.

Okay next, how about a Barbie that can burn down your house!

#6 Rollerblade Barbie

A cigarette lighter striker device in her skates that would shoot some serious sparks out when rolled across a flat surface. Skate over something flammable and barbies dream house better have insurance.

#5 The CSI Fingerprint Examination Kit

A toy based on the hit CBS show, the kit included powder and brushes so the kids could look for fingerprints. And apparently the fingerprint powder contained asbestos…I know what you are thinking…. are they just trying to thin the herd?

#4 Hannah Montana Pop Star Card Game

Released in 2007, lab tests revealed that the game contained 75 times the legal level of lead….one of the deadliest household toxins and apparently, fun for the whole family.

I moving on but first, for those of you that watched or read the original TTT and remember the 1950s U-238 Atomic Energy Lab….after these next 2, you will be sure that The AC Gilbert Company was trying to take out your children, long before the 50s…

#3 1920 Gilbert Glass Blowing Set “for kids”

By this time, they already had made several poisonous and explosive chemistry sets so why not…just give the kids an instruction manual, blow torch, and some glass pipettes…and go to town. What could go wrong.

But how do you step it up? 11 years later and 20 years before they gave your kids nuclear waste…

#2 1931 Gilbert Kaster Kit Jr

Have the kids heat up some toxic lead metal to 600+ degrees in a pot, pour it carefully in to small toy figure molds and all why trying to avoid wicked 3rd degree burns or breathing any of the deadly vapors. How did our parents live thru any of this?

I was going to end it there but…

#1 iPotty

I think its genius and should not be banned or recalled…. because I am going to need one for my 19 month old daughter soon…. its iPotty and don’t you judge. I saw people complaining about this one online. One quote I saw was “I cannot imagine why anyone would want their toddler to use the toilet while playing with a screen-protected iPad. There has got to be other ways to potty train technology-obsessed children.”

First off…

1) I am mad I did not invent it.

2) We all use technology in a similar fashion if you get my drift.

And 3) Is there a better way to Watch Disney’s Frozen…. Let’s Go…. Let it go….

Okay…. I am done.

I hoped you enjoy that few minutes of your life…and I have not scared you off. I promise I got content for everyone. Entertaining, educational, or purely recreational. Subscribe below and check them all out.

Thank you for your enduring admiration? Until next post.


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