Totally Terrifying Toys 3: Banned & Recalled

Updated: Aug 6, 2020

The world needed this 3rd installment of the Trilogy, so here it is. Totally Terrifying Toys Three, Banned & Recalled!!! First, there was… Totally Terrifying Toys – Dangerous or Ridiculous….the international sensation….next, the non-legendary and completely mediocre sequel…Totally Terrifying Toys Two, Creepy & Coming to Get You and just like Jaws 3 in 3D….I had to capitalize off your hunger for Awful Toy Fun….so here it is !

#10 Snacktime Cabbage Patch Kid

This little monster took the classic Cabbage Patch Kid and added “real chewing action” and they were not kidding. After several children fed Chuckey’s 3rd Cousin twice removed their fingers and clumps of hair, Mattel Banned them. No one saw this coming.


#9 Belt Buckle Derringer Toy Cap Gun

In 1959 the Caps used in cap guns were a little more serious…this toy gun was designed to fire when the child pushed his stomach forward or stuck out his gut or her gut….great fun I am sure, but….they actual could catch fire at just above your crotch. Definitely making it more fun to be an observer.

#8 Candy Cigarettes

Guaranteed to make you cool. I remember these….They used to be everywhere when I was kid, but eventually the concern of this candy encouraging children to take up smoking took hold…they have all but disappeared… Plus vaping is so much cooler.…but if you do want your candy cig fix, they are still legally sold at novelty shops, just in case you’re a looking for that special gift…..

#7 Aqua Dots

Take beads, make colorful shapes and designs, spritz with water to fuse your creation. Awesome…but don’t eat the beads…. made with GHB, the date rape drug, a few children slipped into comas and the product was recalled.

I mean seriously…. how does this happen. Good lord.

Okay next, how about a Barbie that can burn down your house!